IVF Update

In this round of the ‘ol IVF war, IVF is kickin’ my ass.  I had a rough day on Tuesday.  It was really hard to hear that the beta wasn’t going to go up, there wasn’t going to be a miracle for me or our baby, the battle was lost.  By the time I got home, my head was spinning and hurting and I was hot and dizzy.  When Troy got home he took over with Davie, and I went to bed at 7:30. 

The long rest really helped.  Up early the next morning to visit my endocrinologist, Dr. Bledsoe.  My TSH had come back high, and I was afraid that might’ve been a big part of the miscarriage.  But she said that my levels had been good right up ’til the positive HCG, and it was mostly likely the shift in hormones due to the HCG that caused my TSH to go up.  So she upped my dose, and next time we go thru IVF, if I get a BFP I’m to take an extra Synthroid tablet immediately and go in for a TSH test the same day.  In the meantime, she’s going to monitor me more closely until we get through the next IVF cycle.

Wednesday and Thursday were super busy and just flew by.  I was going to go to the Resolve General Infertility Support Group Thursday night, but Troy had plans I had forgotten about so I stayed home with Davie.  Some IF sister-love would’ve been great, but Davie and I had so much fun!  Troy was at an orientation class to join a private shooting club.  The members do a lot with the Boy Scouts and just general shooting practice.  I’m glad he’ll have other guys to gush about guns to and not just me!  I enjoy shooting, but I’m not near as into it as poor hubby.

Today has been rough.  I feel like my blood pressure is up, like there’s a huge balloon about to pop behind my eyes.  Headachy, tired, worn down.  They ran an HCG again this morning.  I secretly had the lab fax me a copy of the results, which are … wait for it … SEVEN.  AGAIN.  I haven’t heard from Dr. Silverberg’s office but hopefully they’ll call me soon!  I’ve started spotting again.  I don’t know what’s going on.  Am I going to end up needing a D&C?  A shot of methotrexate?  I really don’t want either of those options. 

I want this chapter to be over so I can move on to the next one.  Try again.  Regain hope.  I want to understand the lesson I’m supposed to learn from all this;  I want to be able to look back and see why God is closing this door so painfully and slowly;  I want to know what wonderful new experience this heartache will lead to in the end.  Like all of us, I want to skip ahead to the good parts.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Christy
    May 11, 2012 @ 21:08:36

    Oh, Stacey. This sucks so bad! I’m sorry. I hope you don’t need either of those two options and you can move on to the good parts quickly. Sending love and hope. ❤


  2. katery
    May 12, 2012 @ 14:51:06

    i’m so sorry this cycle didn’t work out stacey.


  3. Good Timing
    May 14, 2012 @ 21:04:49

    Sending love and hugs xoxo


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