Irrational Fears

Since last Monday (transfer day), I seem to have developed a few new irrational fears to join my current existing ones.  Like the fear of being squished in elevator doors (which is real!  I saw it on the news!  I knew that could really happen!).  Or of driving behind a truck with stuff in the back, especially stuff that doesn’t really fit, like ladders.  I’ll change five lanes or take an early exit just to get away from them!

New fears:

anything jumping on or off of my stomach

sleeping on my stomach

coughing

sneezing

blowing my nose (and of course, I’ve got a sinus infection)

pooping.

As we were leaving after the transfer, the nurse warned me to take stool softeners.  “No straining or pushing,” she cautioned.  So of course, I’ve been so afraid to poop, I think I’ve constipated myself!  Either that, or the poo is too scared to even venture down the canal lest it cause mass hysteria!  I saw a Family Guy episode once where someone asked Peter to stop and talk for a minute while he was busy looking for a bathroom.  “Well, ok,” he said, “but make it quick, ’cause I’m crowning.”  That’s me now – I won’t venture anywhere near a toilet unless I’m already crowning.

Just to keep up with me, hubby has developed a new phobia, too:  flatuphobia.  Seriously, people, I have terrifying swamp gas.  It actually woke us both up from a dead sleep last night.  I tried to blame it on the dogs but I forgot they slept in their kennel last night (Dude ate a dead frog and threw up).

So far, that’s my only symptom.  Boobies are not sore.  No spotting.  I am having some aching and mild cramps, though.  But I’m not sure if that’s AF, the ovaries slowly shrinking back down, or because I’m thisclose to erupting in a massive methane explosion.

Gotta go.  I think I’m crowning.

Lord, please don’t let me poop out my embryos.

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. katery
    Sep 22, 2011 @ 14:33:10

    lol! this isn’t going to help your fears, but i was driving behind a truck that a big board fell off of one time!! scared to poo out of me!

    Reply

  2. celia
    Sep 22, 2011 @ 19:57:44

    That does happen. I had a boss that traveled a LOT and she saw a freaking car roll off one of those big car transporters. She refused to drive behind them after that. I won’t ride behind people with a lot of junk in their trunk either.

    Bad gas is a great symptom! Well, not to HAVE but an excellent indicator of success!

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Sep 23, 2011 @ 09:12:32

      Troy might debate you on the “great gas”… 😉
      OMG, I can’t image watching a CAR fall off a truck! That’s crazy!! And terrifying! I’ve now added that to my list of vehicles to never drive behind.

      Reply

  3. mkwewer
    Sep 23, 2011 @ 07:47:46

    “Swanp gas”….I about died laughing…And not to perpetuate your fears but I was driving behind a truck carrying huge rolls of carpet and 2 fell off…it was terrifying…

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Sep 23, 2011 @ 09:57:42

      Oh my gosh! The most I ever got was flying bits of trash and rubber! So if you guys catch the cars and carpet, do you get to keep them? 😉

      And by the way, I’m so glad to hear from you! 🙂 So glad you all are healthy and happy!

      Reply

  4. mothernatureschmature
    Sep 23, 2011 @ 14:36:45

    Oh yay! Other people with irrational fears that KNOW it can REALLY happen!! =) I have the “being behind the truck” fear too. I especially hate any type of metal pipe or 2x4s!! Also, I don’t think you can actually poop the embryos out. If that happened to any of us, I’d say we had bigger problems than originally thought! =) Hoping all goes well for you!!

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Sep 24, 2011 @ 01:44:20

      Yes! It’s the pipes that really get me! Did you see that movie The Descent? Or the dude killed by a surfboard in Lethal Weapon 2? Ok, you’re right, I watch way too many movies.

      I’m so glad you stopped by! I’m looking forward to following your journey!

      Reply

  5. Sweet Georgia
    Sep 23, 2011 @ 14:39:45

    I hope the rest of your wait is relatively uneventful and no new phobias rear their ugly heads!

    Reply

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