The transfer went down Monday and the embies are on board!

Sunday was fun but I felt completely obsessed and pre-occupied.  All I could think about were the embryos!  My girlfriend Judy, our friend Melissa and her boyfriend Aaron all came by and ate dinner and visited.  Mom and the nephews stayed over, too.  We all baked Troy’s favorite cookies, Paula Deen’s Chocolate Gooey Cookies.  The boys were on a hyper sugar rush and the dogs were crazy from licking powdered sugar off the nephews.  At least it helped keep my mind a little bit busy!

I had trouble sleeping, though.  My mind kept turning over the questions, how many should we transfer?  What if we don’t have any to transfer?  What do we do if we have embryos to freeze but decide not to use them?  By the time I got up in the morning, I felt confident that two embryos was the right number totransfer, assuming we had two.

Monday morning Troy took me to work. At 10:30  Mom (with Davie) picked me up and took me to the St. David’s women’s fertility surgery center.  We had to do it that way ’cause I couldn’t drive home, and Troy is getting short on time off from work.   I knew Mom would have to stay with Davie so I’d be going into the transfer on my own, but that was ok.  I’d done it before, and mom and Davie would be there waiting when I got out.

I undressed from the waist down and put on a gown.  They gave me a Valium and we chilled.  My friend Melissa who works there popped in to say hi, and to tell me that she’d be going into the procedure with me!  Shortly before my transfer time came up, Troy popped in!  He had gotten permission to take a longer lunch so he could be there for the transfer.  I was so happy he was there!

They finally wheeled me down the hallway and parked right outside the theater.  The embryologist FINALLY came up to give us our report!  We had three beautiful lead contenders.  I looked at Dr. Silverberg.  “How many do you recommend we transfer?”  To my surprise, he stammered, then looked at Tom, the embryologist.  Tom shrugged and just went over the grades of the embryos again.  I looked back and forth between the two.  Dr. Silverberg said, “well, we need to decide quick ’cause I’m supposed to be in surgery right now.” 

REALLY?  We’re really going to decide the future of my entire family and the fate of this IVF cycle on the spur of the moment, ’cause you need to be somewhere else?  I dearly love Dr. Silverberg, but OMG!!!  I was frantically trying to focus through my Valium-induced haze and remember why I felt confident that two were the right choice. Silverberg finally said that he came in assuming we were going to transfer in three, and it was still his gut instinct to go with three.  I know Troy wanted me to feel confident we had tried everything we could to be successful this IVF.  We had a consensus.

The procedure was a little uncomfortable this time.  The speculum felt vaguely like it was trying to scoop out my uterus with an ice-cream scoop.  But once the catheter was in, I was able to relax.  We watched them suck up the three embryos with a tiny cather.  One was large,  well-differentiated and was slightly breaking out of its’ shell.  The other two were much smaller and were not as well differentiated (they didn’t have as much fluid in the middle).  Once they were in, they checked the catheter under a microscope, then it was back to the exam room to lie flat for 30 minutes.

Troy went back to work, and I slept most of the afternoon while Mom watched Davie.  It was hard to watch Troy and Mom care for her all evening and not be able to hold her.  She was so wired last night, and I wasn’t supposed to hold her if she was climbing or kicking.  I missed my girl so much! 

Today it was back to work as usual.  Mom has taken Davie home for a couple of nights but will be back on Thursday with my nephews.  My brother has several work trips over the next month so the boys will be staying with us on Thursdays and alternate weekends.  We love having them with us so much.  Davie just absolutely adores them.  She grabs at their faces and hair and just squeals and grins at them!  They’re HER boys!  I don’t know what she’ll do when she has to share them with their new brother or sister!

Today we got our freeze report, and we actually had TWO embryos make it to freeze!  The embryologist said they grew well and were actually a little more advanced that the biggest one they put back yesterday!  I was surprised to find there were actually still twelve embryos in the lab, although all the others were stopping growing and dividing.

All of this is so amazing and wonderful and exciting.  But I find it so much more ethically challenging than the IUI was.  I wonder, would those other embryos that are dying now have had a chance if they were actually in my body instead of in a petri dish?  Or would they still have stopped growing?  Are the embryos inside me attaching?  How many will there be?  Will we even be successful at all?  If we’re not, will the two we froze survive thaw?  If we are successful this time, what will we do with the frozen ones?

I know I’m thinking too far ahead, I just need to relax and give the babies on board a chance to snuggle in and make it home.  I have to admit, this time is so different than the first time.  I want this so much, and yet I feel so bad about not being able to hold my daughter.  I miss her so much.  I’m worried about the time away from work, for both me and Troy.  But I do want to be successful.  I want to be pregnant again and to have a newborn again and I want Davie to have a sibling.  The first time seemed so much more intense, but this time it seems like there’s so much more at stake.

Ooops, I forgot to put in my Crinone.  Off to the bathroom I go!

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Stacey
    Sep 20, 2011 @ 22:26:17

    Having sticky thoughts for you!!!! 🙂 So happy that things went well. Can’t wait to hear about the happy positive!

    Reply

  2. iamstacey
    Sep 21, 2011 @ 06:46:41

    Thank you, Stacey! We’re praying God will will be done!

    Reply

  3. linds
    Sep 21, 2011 @ 08:10:51

    Wishing you much luck and positive prayer!! Come on lil embabies!! 🙂

    Reply

  4. Myndi
    Sep 21, 2011 @ 10:51:43

    Stacey, that’s such wonderful news! Now for the awful, awful wait! I forget what your clinic’s process is. When will you have your first blood draw?

    Ooooh, I’m just so darned excited!!!

    Reply

  5. Pie
    Sep 21, 2011 @ 12:32:28

    Fingers and toes crossed for you. Stick, babies, stick!

    Reply

  6. katery
    Sep 21, 2011 @ 13:35:20

    good luck!! can’t wait to hear how everything goes!!!

    Reply

  7. iamstacey
    Sep 21, 2011 @ 16:37:15

    Thank you, everybody! Keep sending lots of good vibes! 🙂

    Reply

  8. babybaker
    Sep 22, 2011 @ 03:34:26

    Yay! You’re PUPO with 3 lil embabies! I am crossing everything for you!

    Reply

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