No Maternity Pics

Everyday I feel so deeply lucky that we finally had a procedure work for us.  I love every minute so far of being a mommy.  There’s nothing I want more than to be hangin’ with my girl. 

But being pregnant wasn’t really fun for me.  I liked the idea that we had a baby on the way, but the physical reality of it wasn’t a good time.  Most of the time I was uncomfortable or in pain.  I threw up 8 of the 9 months.  Most days I was lucky to get out the door with a bath and clean clothes.  Washing and styling my hair, shaving my legs, wearing make-up – some days it was just too much for me.  I was pale, pasty, had huge bags under my eyes and I waddled everywhere I went.

So, to put it midly, photo shoots were not at the top of my daily to-do list.  I knew I wanted to take maternity pictures with Troy during my pregnancy, so I pretty much relied on that to record our memories of the time.  The photo shoot was really important to me – I hadn’t taken many pictures along the way, and we may never get to be pregnant again.  So I wanted to make the absolute most of them.  I researched online poses I wanted to do and picked out matching outfits for us – jeans, long sleeved white shirts, and my red converse tennies and his blue ones.

I found who I thought would be the perfect photographer.  I had joined an Austin Parents of Infants and Toddlers Meet-up group a few months before, and the moderator recommended Kat Evertsen, a woman who had just moved to the area and was offering a professional photography shoot in your home for half price if you used the meet-ups promo code.  Kat had a blog that she has since disabled, but you can see part of her story here:  http://www.snappymoms.com/www.snappymoms.com/Baby_Alex.html.  Kat’s blog talked about losing her baby Alex to a heart defect as an infant, and how part of the proceeds from every photo shoot went to a research/aid fund for parents of infants with the same defect.  She seemed perfect.

Kat came to our home in February right after my grandfather’s funeral and did our shoot.  It took about two hours and we enjoyed Kat and every minute of the shoot.  I was so glad we’d gotten it done before the baby came.  Kat said she’d be mailing us the disc of the pictures along with a release letter within two weeks.  I made the horrible mistake of paying her cash.

Time went by and the pics never came.  We called, we emailed, she finally responded that her father had a health scare and she’d been out of town.  That’s ok, I said, just send them when you can.  Months more went by.  Davie came.  Calls and emails went unanswered.  Finally, I found and contacted her on Facebook.  She finally admitted the pics were gone.  She had a long, convoluted story about how her hard drive was destroyed and her computer was sold and wiped.  I’m heartbroken.

I feel like such a fool.  I was taken, I’ve been had.  She says she’ll refund our money, but I doubt it will happen.  I don’t even care about the money.  The memories are all I want.  Those pictures.  I NEVER should have relied on someone I didn’t know with such precious memories.  I should’ve gone to Sears or Penney’s, anyplace more professional.  I can’t even kick myself, I’m just to heartsick.  What makes me saddest of all is that she uses the horrible, tragic death of her son to fleece people.

I’ve seen now on FaceBook she’s advertising in-home child care.  I hope no-one will trust such an unscrupulous woman with something as precious as their children.  I don’t know much about FB but I wish I could post a warning.  I Googled her back when she wasn’t answering our emails (I was looking for the Alex blog, which I discovered she had disabled), and found many complaints about her.  Apparently she also offeres photography classes, but has been accused of taking people’s money but not ever holding classes.

Please be sure to take pictures while you’re pregnant and of your little ones.  I’d hate for anyone else to lose those precious memories like I have.  I was lucky enough to finally find five pictures of myself while I was big, but not one of them with Troy.  But – I know what you’re thinking – and you’re totally right.  It’s time to let it go, to live and learn.  I still get to hold my little girl at night, so I still win.  I win big. 🙂

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20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jenny
    Jun 07, 2011 @ 14:58:43

    Oh Stacey that just sucks. I wish there was a more eloquent way for me to put it, but thats all that comes to mind! I can’t believe she let it drag on so long, when all she had to do is apologize profusely and refund your money immediately. If I were her, I would have offered a free photosession with Davie to make amends. Thanks for the warning – I will make sure to never use her!

    If you ever do need a photographer, we have one thats very affordable and does good work. I’ve known him since I was a kid and he’s done all of our pictures of Caleb. I never had the heart to take maternity pictures, but have a few that my hubbie wanted for posterity!

    Hope all is going great with you –
    Jenny

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Jun 07, 2011 @ 15:30:32

      Hi, Jenny! I’m so glad you all are doing great! I’m actually doing really well. I think I’m finally starting to adjust to being back at work! The picture thing is soooo disheartening, but it’ll be ok! I’m already starting to get over it, just sad that I didn’t go with a real photographer!

      Reply

  2. Stacey
    Jun 07, 2011 @ 17:46:25

    I’m so sorry, I also can’t believe how badly she handled it. I feel more or less the same way about breastfeeding – that I lost something that I can never get back, and I can’t quite get over it. I’m happy that you seem able to move past this … I know it’s better that way, but it can be really hard!

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Jun 07, 2011 @ 21:05:18

      Oh, Stacey, pictures are nothing compared to breastfeeding! I know you didn’t mean it this way, but it really puts it in perspective for me. I almost didn’t get to breastfeed, too. It took two weeks for my milk to come in, and even now my supply is very weak. But I pump like crazy to keep up the little bit I do make! I just love the closeness of breastfeeding and it would’ve broken my heart if I couldn’t do it at all.

      Reply

  3. linds
    Jun 07, 2011 @ 19:18:38

    That is so terrible!! 😦 I can;t believe people do things like that. 😦 I wish there was something you could do about it or report her or something like that! It just isn’t fair, especially after all you went through to GET pregnant!! Big hugs to you!

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Jun 07, 2011 @ 21:07:00

      I know, I know. I feel so stupid for just trusting someone like that! I’m trying to let it go now, but I wish there was something I could do to warn other people!

      Reply

  4. Ashley
    Jun 08, 2011 @ 12:55:36

    That is horrible!!! She better give you your money back at least. What a jerk. I would be devastated so I think you have really great perspective on it.

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Jun 09, 2011 @ 08:43:04

      Thanks, I’m gettin’ over it. Just had to wallow in it for a couple of days, but in the whole picture, it’s small potatoes. I’m still a little bitter, though.

      Reply

  5. katery
    Jun 08, 2011 @ 13:33:26

    aw, i’m so sorry! pregnancy was pretty awful for me as well, only for the last two months, but those last two months were so bad, i’m not sure if i can handle ever being pregnant again! luckily (?) most of my family lives out of town, so there was a lot of emailing of pregnancy photos, even though i felt like shit. i can’t believe this happened to you, unbelievable, again, i’m so sorry.

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Jun 09, 2011 @ 08:44:14

      You were so smart to send lots of pics! I’ll definitely take TONS next time if we’re lucky enough to get pregnant again! (well, lucky enough to have a baby 😉 Being pregnant was not my favorite part…)

      Reply

  6. Myndi
    Jun 09, 2011 @ 11:45:03

    Something like that would take a lot for me to get over. It’s really unforgivable. And she’s horribly unprofessional, no matter what her back story. There HAS to be someone you can report her to. Some way to keep others from heading her direction. Oy.

    And ditto on the breastfeeding…I’ll never fully get over giving it up when I did. It breaks my heart that I’m not doing it anymore, and the regret weighs heavy on me. I just try not to think about it.

    Can’t wait to see more pics of your little one!

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Jun 09, 2011 @ 20:59:51

      Hey, Myndi! I’m getting over it, but I do get bitter, I have to admit. Now that I’ve gotten it all out here, I’m going to try not to think about it!
      I’m beginning to think about waiting a few more months before we TTC #2. I really wanted to start again in July or August, but I have to give up breastfeeding to do it. I don’t make much milk, but I love the closeness of breastfeeding! If we never get pregnant again, I think I’ll regret giving up breastfeeding with Davie.

      Reply

  7. PJ
    Jun 09, 2011 @ 18:27:43

    Ugh, I’m so sorry. I wonder if you can report her to the better business bureau?

    All I have really are a bunch of crappy iPhone pictures. My husband did take three really good ones a few days before I delivered. I was HUGE!

    My pregnancy was really hard also. Probably the hardest thing I’ve done, carry twins and deliver them, and get used to being a mom… Although, the infertility treatments were no cakewalk.
    So totally all worth it though. ten fold.

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Jun 09, 2011 @ 21:02:15

      Oh my gosh, I can’t imagine doing it with two (or three, in Myndi’s case!). I’m exhausted with one, and my mom keeps her two nights a week! I think you’re a superhero. And the girls are beautiful! 🙂

      Reply

  8. Christy
    Jun 10, 2011 @ 22:17:07

    Oh, no…..BOO! I’ve been wondering about those pictures but didn’t want to ask. You are always so realistic and down to earth and you’re never dramatic about anything-I’m in awe of you and how you deal, because I think I would have, like, a total breakdown. But you just love on that beautiful girl of yours. So sorry, Stacey 😦

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Jun 12, 2011 @ 06:08:48

      Thanks, Christy. I think my hubby would disagree with you about the drama, though! Davie had horrible gas yesterday and she was just screaming – and I was a mess! I would’ve done anything to make her feel better. Poor Troy has two drama queens on his hands now!

      Reply

  9. Christy
    Jun 12, 2011 @ 19:00:45

    Oh, the gas 😦 I remember the gas. I remember bicycling her legs so much and putting hot cloths on her belly and trying those mylicon drops, and sometimes I would pull her legs up to her face and press on her tummy and it was like a fart machine. Oh, seriously, the gas 😦 Poor Davie!

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Jun 13, 2011 @ 13:44:37

      Oh, Christy, that’s so funny! Fart machine! 😉 I tell Troy this little girl can fart and burp better than her daddy. I know it’s not for poor baby, of course … it broke my heart to hear my little girl scream! :(. I didn’t even think about bicycling her legs! She did really love it when I turned the heating pad on low and laid her on it on my tummy. I stocked up on Mylicon, too. I’ll try the bicycle next time!

      Reply

  10. My Bumpy Journey
    Jun 13, 2011 @ 00:07:11

    I have been contemplating doing maternity shoots b/c I am stupidly big and swollen and don’t really even look like myself anymore. You have convinced me to do it. I am so sorry that happened to you my dear.

    😦

    Reply

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