If Renee Zellweger and Angelina Jolie Had A Love Child…

… I know just what it’d look like.  And it’s terrifying, folks.

Over the past weekend I’d started developing a nice sinus infection.  I’m sure it was mostly due to mold allergies and all the rain we got from Hermine.  Rain in the summer is definitely unusual for us Texans.  Even the cacti are usually on the verge of giving up and keeling over by now.  So at the end of my shift at the hospital Sunday morning I went by the E.R. and begged an antibiotic script from the doc.  Then I ended up sleeping all day Sunday, then it was Labor Day, then Tuesday was the first day back at work, and it wasn’t ’til after work Wednesday that I finally ended up picking up the pills.

I had a light dinner, just some rice – keepin’ it light and bland these days – then I took my prenatal vitamin and the first Amoxicillin tablet and snuggled into bed to watch a rerun of The Big Bang Theory with my hubby (I’d never seen it so it was new to me). Just as an accidentally drunk Sheldon was taking off his pants while giving an award acceptance speech to an audience of his scientific peers, my palms started to itch.  Weird.  I started rubbing them on the nubby fabric of our comforter.  Then, my feet joined the party.  Suddenly, I had to sit up, I just HAD to scratch my legs.  As I scratched, a freaky lobster-red blotchy rash spread from my feet and hands up my arms and legs.  Then my scalp joined the party.  I must’ve looked like a monkey high on speed.  My husband, who was lying at the foot of the bed, finally turned around and started to ask, what’s all the commotion back there? but took one look and dragged me into the bathtub.  I grabbed my trusty Home Depot puke bucket on the way and thank goodness I did, because after just a minute in the tub my stomach decided to rid itself of every last grain of rice I’d eaten for dinner.

When the Olympic Hurling finally abated, I wiped my mouth and realized my lips felt funny.  I called to Troy and asked, “id domping wong wid my wips?  ’cause dey feel fuddy.”  I looked up and his eyes widened and all he said was, “Get dressed, we’re going to the hospital.”  I managed to get into underwear, pajama pants, a t-shirt and flip flops before he threw me and Home Depot bucket into the car.  I puked all the way to the hospital.  I puked all the way to the check-in desk.  The clerk put me in a wheelchair, where I continued to puke. By now, we were long out of rice and just weird liquids were coming up.  I looked up at one point to see patients and family in the waiting room all huddled in a corner of the room watching us with looks of mingled horror and terror.  Must’ve been all the disgusting puking, right?

Puking at the front desk must be the magic key to getting an E.R. room immediately.  The clerk was wheeling me down the hallway when we passed a huge window and I finally caught my reflection in the glass.  Not only I was blotchy lobster-red from head to toe, but my face, hands and feet were swollen and puffy.  My eyes looked just like Renee Zelleweger’s – tiny slits inside puffy lids, almost swollen shut.  Angleina Jolie’s lips would’ve been ashamed to be seen next to my pucker.  Two beautiful people do NOT necessarily make a beautiful love child, that’s all I’m sayin’.

It took breathing treatments, saline, and a bunch of shots (I know there was Benadryl, Pepcid and a steroid in there, but not sure what the rest were) before the tremors and itching finally began to die down.  From the moment we walked in, I kept telling everyone, I’m pregnant, check the baby, did I tell you I’m pregnant?  Finally, finally, hours later the doc wheeled in a portable sonogram machine and we were in business.  She found the little one right away, although it was a long breathless moment before we saw the heartbeat flicker.  She’d only been there about two minutes before she was suddenly called away on an emergency.  “Here,” she said, “y’all can play with this ’til I get back.”  OMG!  A sonogram all to ourselves!  For 15 minutes we watched from every angle while it wiggled and kicked.  It was more intense relief than when the itching and shaking had finally died down.

So, I missed out on work Thursday, but as it turned out I actually had an appointment with the OB on Thursday afternoon anyway.  We didn’t get home ’til about 3 in the morning, so Troy took the day off, too.  His car window had stopped going up just as the Hermine rain hit, and it was a relief for him to be able to get that fixed, then he took me to my appointment.  BFF Judy met us at the office and we all got to see the Mexican jumping bean wiggle across the screen again!  I’m so glad I got to share that with Judy.  Now that I’m forever allergic to penicillin, doc sent me home with a Z-pack but I’ve decided just to tough it out.  I won’t be seeing the baby again for four weeks.  It seems so long!

Saturday I bought a king-sized bed off Craigslist.  I’ve wanted one since we got married, and now with Troy, four cats, two dogs and my belly in the bed, the queen just wasn’t cutting it!   The couple had bought the king bed just two months before along with a brand new bedroom set from Bassett.  They only slept on it a couple of weeks when the husband decided it was just too soft, so since then they’d been sleeping in their spare room.  We got the $1700 bed for only $500!  They had ordered a sleep number bed so they wanted the Bassett out ASAP.  Dad, Troy and my brother picked up the bed and set it up for me.  I love it!  It’s like climbing into my own personal cloud to sleep every night.  I spent as much of Sunday as I could in bed, I didn’t want to leave!  It’s just heaven.

Sunday mom and I went shopping and I bought my first pair of maternity pants.  I feel like such a poser.  I wouldn’t even go in a maternity store, I just snuck into the maternity section in the back of Sears.  Last month I bought a pair of jeans in a bigger size, and although I’ve only gained 3 lbs (I throw all the rest up!), they’re tight now.  Also, I can’t stand the thought of buttoning anything over my belly anymore.  I wear scrubs all day and pj’s at home, so I hadn’t realized my regular jeans had gotten so tight ’til I went to get dressed to go shopping with mom.  I got a pair of tan cargo-style pants that don’t look too maternity, they have the soft band at the top instead of a whole belly panel.  They also roll up and button on the legs so they can be capri’s.  I feel like such a fraud wearing them, but omg they are so comfortable.

Moral of the story?  A baby can make you inexplicably allergic to things you have never been allergic to in your life.  It can also cause you to become overly attached to inanimate objects like Home Depot buckets.  And two hot people do not necessarily make a hot baby.  Just look look at the Willis kids.  Proof.

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wopchr
    Sep 13, 2010 @ 15:34:05

    seriously, stacey, you have such funny stories! only they’re not that funny because they are stinky and not fun at all!
    I’m so glad you’re ok-and I think it’s SO weird what our preggo bodies can put us through.
    Are you getting a bump yet??? Are you going to put up baby bump pictures when you do??????
    SO excited for you!! How many weeks/days are you now??

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Sep 13, 2010 @ 16:00:09

      I’m 14 weeks! 14! That’s 2nd trimester! Woohoo! 🙂
      I already have a belly so I think I just look plumper. In fact, I didn’t realize I had a belly ’til my new “fat” jeans didn’t fit! I do need to take pics. I haven’t posted any pics in forever!

      Reply

  2. Kari
    Sep 13, 2010 @ 18:39:34

    So glad you’re feeling better!! Pregnancy gave me a weirdo case of eczema that seemed to be induced by all sorts of weird things. Hoping you don’t end up finding any other allergies. That’s so awesome you got to play with the u/s machine!! I always told DH when we were waiting for the doc’s that we should just do it ourselves since we had so much practice after IF treatments!! And you got too, I’m jealous!!

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Sep 13, 2010 @ 21:16:51

      they should leave those machines in the waiting room so we can entertain ourselves while we wait! 🙂 I can see why Tom and Katie took one home! The eczema must’ve been miserable. I can’t imagine!

      Reply

  3. Low Fat Lady
    Sep 13, 2010 @ 18:43:50

    Wow sorry you had to go through that. What caused it? That is so cool the doc let you play with the scanner and just watch 😉

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Sep 13, 2010 @ 21:30:20

      apparently it was the penicillin, but what’s weird is that I’ve taken it for colds and such all my life and have never had a reaction! I’ve never been allergic to any food or medicine, so I had no idea what was happening!

      Reply

  4. katery
    Sep 13, 2010 @ 21:49:24

    craziness!! i’m so glad you’re okay!! fyi puking at the registration desk doesn’t get you in stat, being pregnant does! i have been at the desk puking and not pregnant and i had to wait for AN HOUR, i was so sick i couldn’t even sit up and i STILL had to wait. i have also been at the desk puking and pregnant and i was admitted faster than green grass through a goose.

    Reply

  5. Another Dreamer
    Sep 14, 2010 @ 09:21:32

    YIKES! Sorry you had to go through that. I’m allergic to penicillin so we stay away from it and anything related to it… much worse experience when I was a child, apparently it caused my throat to swell shut o_O” When the baby is here make sure their pediatrician knows you are allergic, because that is often hereditary, I believe (my mom and almost all my siblings are allergic).

    Glad they got it taken care of, and I hope you recover completely soon! What an ordeal!

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Sep 14, 2010 @ 11:02:19

      Wow, I’m so glad it didn’t go that far with me! I got really wheezy but I could always breathe. It was definitely an experience I don’t ever want to have again!
      I wondered if it’s the baby that’s allergic. I definitely won’t take any chances!

      Reply

  6. Another Dreamer
    Sep 14, 2010 @ 09:22:19

    That’s so weird that you’ve taken it before and never had a reaction… did the doctor say anything about that?

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Sep 14, 2010 @ 11:03:26

      No, and I didn’t think to ask! And on the other hand, my nephew was horribly allergic to it when he was a baby, but he has taken it as a child and is fine with it now! So weird. I’ll definitely just always stay away from it from now on.

      Reply

  7. Stacey
    Sep 14, 2010 @ 13:29:20

    Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry that happened to you!! Very scary and sounds terrible… but what a treat to see the baby again! (I know how this can become almost an obsession!)
    It does feel strange when you first start wearing maternity clothes and don’t necessarily look pregnant yet. But oh, they are so much more comfortable! And it won’t be long before your little one starts filling them out. 🙂
    YAY for the bigger bed! My hubby and I (and my huge belly and elaborate pillow system) are seriously running out of space in our queen-size. I’m jealous!!!

    Reply

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