Reassured … worried …

My sweet mama came down to stay with me for a couple of days.  Dr. Silverberg was so sweet to get me in on Thursday for an ultrasound.  It turns out, the clinic actually doesn’t even measure HCG by the day.  So the charts I was measuring against are really arbitrary … you know, what you all were trying to tell me. 🙂  They have a number they like to see a patient at or above at 4 weeks, 5 weeks, etc.  It’s 10,000 or above at 6 weeks, so 15,800 made them perfectly happy.  After 6 weeks, they stop measuring the HCG altogether, as they say it’s just too random after that.  They only measure the progesterone at this point.

The baby looked just perfect on the u/s.  It’s measuring a day ahead of where I’m supposed to be.  Heartbeat 147.  I joked I needed to check out the u/s machine and take it with me.  Dr. Silverberg was so patient, and he admonished me repeatedly to relax and enjoy the pregnancy.  I want to, I really do!

Of course, I was taking a nap before work tonight, and my kitty Poppy just suddenly, randomly, leapt up and launched off my tummy exactly where the baby is (lower right side).  So now I’m right back to worried.  The Crinone discharge looks pinker … but maybe it’s just my overactive imagination again.  No true spotting, but I am still cramping.  I get nauseous more often, but it’s usually just passing.

I had a job interview at a hospital right here in Cedar Park.  It went well and although I don’t think it’s the right fit for me, I’m really glad I went.  I met some good people and made some good contacts.  I also ran into two old lab tech co-workers, and both of them gave me good leads that’ll be opening up in a few months.  It was a really positive day overall.

Lastly, we’ve found we’re not yet ready to purchase a home.  We’ve gone a long way towards paying off old debts (from before we met and married), but we don’t have much savings (we’ve been putting everything back into debt repayment).  Although I do love this house and I really don’t want to move right now, I can see how in a few years from now this place will seem really small.  We have a few more options to look into before we make a big move, but I’ve started looking over rental ads in the paper.

It’s hard for me to have so many balls in the air.  I’m a creature of habit and familiarity.  The thought of changing bosses – even for a job I like better – is stressful for me.  I do love my boss.  Not knowing exactly where in town I’ll be working makes it hard to know where to look at homes.  Not knowing if we’ll be moving is hard.  Worrying about the pregnancy is hard.

But – I’m working on taking a deep breath, and taking it as it comes.  God has opened a lot of exciting and wonderful doors for us.  I want to be excited, not fearful, about what’s coming up next.


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kari
    Jul 24, 2010 @ 05:19:22

    Oh I am so glad that the baby looked perfect on the ultrasound!! It’s so hard not to worry and I know how you are feeling. Don’t worry too much about the kitty, mine did that a few times during the pregnancy(and the other day he actually did it now after Liam is here to Liam himself), and things were fine. I would worry every time too, but my DH would tell me there’s plenty of muscle in there protecting the baby. The doctor told me if it wasn’t enough to truly cause pain and injury to me, then the baby was fine as well. It sounds like you do have a lot of balls in the air, but you’re a pretty together lady so I think you
    ll handle it beautifully!! So glad for the update and keep picturing that little baby in there thriving away!!


  2. Txgirl
    Jul 24, 2010 @ 06:23:01

    I’m so happy that you got an u/s and everything looks okay! Definitely hard to enjoy a pregnancy especially at the beginning when everything seems so tentative, but I know you’ll get there.


  3. meinsideout
    Jul 24, 2010 @ 07:33:41

    HCG truly does not matter at this point – only the u/s matters and it sounds like yours could not have been more perfect!!!

    It is hard to relax and enjoy after what you have been through – I always told myself to just get through it any way that I could with my sanity intact. Mostly.


  4. Low Fat Lady
    Jul 24, 2010 @ 08:08:41

    I am a major creature of habit that doesn’t like change. So glad things went well.


  5. Amber
    Jul 24, 2010 @ 10:46:01

    Yay for a good ultrasound! I’m so happy to hear that those stupid hcg numbers meant nothing. Sounds like you have a happy baby in there. Sorry about the cramping though, I did that on and off for about the first 8 weeks. Hopefully it will end soon.


  6. Another Dreamer
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 14:04:32

    Glad the u/s went well!


  7. katery
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 17:16:03

    don’t worry at all about the kitty, wait until you get a little further along and you will feel how strong and hard your uterus is, it will be like a rock, your uterus is designed to protect your baby from every day bumps and such. i know it’s hard to relax and enjoy your pregnancy, i was never really able to do it, i hope you can.


  8. K
    Jul 26, 2010 @ 09:37:33

    Yay for a good u/s!!!! And yes- HCG is not really something anyone looks at once the baby on the u/s is visible and looking lovely. So happy for you! Don’t worry about the cat. That womb of yours is designed for nearly every everyday thing that could land on it. I know someone who said a twenty pound dog jumped on her- and all remained well. It’s scary to say the least so I get that but I’m sure you’e just fine 🙂


  9. Myndi
    Jul 27, 2010 @ 22:28:26

    So thrilled to hear that the baby is lookin’ good! And though it’s easier said than done, don’t worry about the kitty pouncin’ on you. Everything katery said is dead on. I had spotting off and on up until 10 weeks. It’s scary, especially with a previous miscarriage, but it doesn’t have to mean bad things. 🙂


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