I’d Feel Better if I Was Pukin’

No major symptoms.  I wish I was at least throwing up every morning.  Or that I could actually feel the heartbeat.  Or that the kid would at least knock three times every now and then.  One more day ’til the next blood test, which should be around 53,000, and six days ’til the next sonogram.  Not sure I can make it!

Fortunately, work has been keeping me more than occupied.  Unfortuantely, it’s because it completely sucks.  I’m burned out, I’m exhausted.  Inter-personal conflicts (between others, that they all feel compelled to tell me about), mistakes, punishments, new computer programs with all new bugs almost daily.  I miss being a med tech.  I like being a med tech.  But I hate being a counselor, I hate making mistakes, and I hate being a computer operator.  I know all these things come with any job, some of the time. 
But these things have become the primary part of my job, every day, going on two years now.  I know it’s not the best time, but it’s time to start looking around.  I’m ready to go.  Sad to leave the company I’ve been with for 11 years, but if I’m honest with myself, that company doesn’t really exist anymore. 

Also, we’ve gotta decide what to do about where to live.  We do have a plan of action here.  We’re meeting with a financial guy at 8:30 tomorrow morning, and it should let us know if we should look at buying or should still rent for a while.  I’ll feel better once we have a plan of action.  After that, I have an interview for a part-time job.  I really don’t have room in my schedule for it right now, but it’s 5 minutes from the house and could lead to more hours later on.  So I’m going to go to the interview to see if it’s something I can make work.

But inevitably, my mind comes back to … is the baby still there?  Is it still alive?  Is it still growing?  I have some heartburn, but not much.  I have lots of gas, and I go a lot more than ever before.  Still have cramps, some really strong, but I think some of the cramps are due to the gas.  The cramps just scare me, of course.  No reassuring symptoms, like a nice bout of nausea and vomiting.  I do get sleepy – really, really sleepy.  After lunch I can barely keep my eyes open, and I’m ready for bed at 8 every night.

Oh!  Good news!  We started fostering three sweet little grey kittens several months ago.  They warned us that most likely the kittens would die, they were so sick.  One of them tested faintly positive for feline leukemia, which is always fatal, so we were prepared for the worst.  Twice they did almost die.  But on Sunday, three fat, fluffy, frisky little kittens all tested negative for feline leukemia and are ready to be fixed!  They’ve officially made it!  I can’t believe it!  We just adore them so much.  I’ll post some pics later.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sweet georgia
    Jul 21, 2010 @ 08:46:39

    You are having symptoms – gas, cramping etc. You are pregnant. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to enjoy it as much as you can. Hope the blood work goes well tomorrow!

    Reply

  2. Txgirl
    Jul 21, 2010 @ 09:32:17

    fyi-I had cramps but no nausea for a bit, too. The nausea didn’t kick in until at least 7 weeks for me. I hope you have a good day!

    Reply

  3. athena
    Jul 21, 2010 @ 10:47:50

    i hear you!! i’m right there with you.. it’s sooo annoying when i don’t feel much! HUGS!

    Reply

  4. Another Dreamer
    Jul 21, 2010 @ 13:37:29

    I know the worry so well about whether it’s still there- thinkign of you and hoping.

    As for the feline lukemia, as long as they don’t get sick and you treat them right away with antibiotics when they do, they can normally live a normal life. I have an adult can with FIV (very similiar to Feline Lukemia, but it’s the feline version of HIV), He’s got some neurological issues (his eyes shake back and forth, but he doesn’t notice) and his tendency to get sick (which we have to get him in for an antibiotic shot right away, but eye antibiotic) he’s perfectly happy and content. One day the disease will kill him, but he should live many more years if he gets the proper care. He was my brother’s cat, and when my father moved he couldn’t take him with him- so I took him and had him tested before introducing him to my other kitties. Since he tested positive, we had a few options- put him down, keep him in isolation, or find him a single cat home. Well, we couldn’t put a healthy cat down (he’s diseased, not sick), and could not find him a home- so he lives in our bedroom and is spoiled as any cat could be! Sorry for rambling, just sharing my experience with an immuno-deficient cat. I’ve looked into it a lot as we made the decision to keep him. I hope the kitties do well, and thrive- it is most certainly possible.

    Reply

    • Another Dreamer
      Jul 21, 2010 @ 13:40:09

      Oh, and sometimes those tests for FIV and Feline Lukemia give false positives. We know ours was accurate because he has health issues, and many cats in the area he came from have both diseases. But retesting is usually advised.

      Reply

  5. Kari
    Jul 21, 2010 @ 16:26:29

    I laughed at the knocking 3x, I wish they did that. Gotta tell you my entire pregnancy I didn’t have ANY of the pregnancy “symptoms”. I absolutely know how scary that is, especially when you’ve been to the other side and things didn’t work out. But I’ll tell ya it can turn out ok without all those symptoms. 🙂

    Reply

  6. Christy
    Jul 21, 2010 @ 16:55:20

    I completely know it never, ever helps to hear this, but I was one of those never really got sick, never got heartburn, etc. etc. I know it would make you feel better. But you ARE pregnant! Hang in there, honey.

    Reply

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