Wanna Smoke?

After I posted the cat poo story yesterday I headed for the vet to pick up Libby.  Turns out, the vet had decided she could still hear a bit of a wheeze deep in Libby’s chest so she wanted to postpone having her fixed for a few days.  So poo shirt was all for nothing!!

On the way home I realized that we had actually finished up the housecleaning yesterday – the laundry was done, dishes are done, we had dusted and vacuumed and mopped – all I needed to do was feed the zoo, then I could … wow, what would I do with all that free time?  Maybe a long hot bath.  Troy doesn’t get home ’til about 2 hours after I do.  I could actually watch whatever I wanted on TV!  I could be Ruler of the Remote!  Oh, bliss!

It’s finally getting cool down here in Texas in the evenings.  Last week we actually had a little fire in the fireplace, which I loved.  So warm and cozy!  I thought I’d start a fire, then go feed the animals and take a bath.  I could have dinner ready for Troy when he got home and we could eat in the living room next to our cozy, romantic fire.

I’ve just eased into the most awesome bubble bath ever when EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the fire alarm goes off.  I’m not especially alarmed – our fire alarm is super-sensitive.  It even goes off when we make toast.  I figure there’s a little smoke from the fireplace that’s upsetting the delicate flower. 

So I open the bedroom door – to CLOUDS of thick white smoke just pouring into the room!  The fire was still in the fireplace, but all of the smoke was coming into the house!  I round up all the animals in a bedroom down the hallway (no small feat as we have 3 cats, 2 dogs and 3 foster cats).  Then I threw open all of the doors and windows and turned on all the fans, but the smoke just kept pouring into the house.

I broke down and called Troy, “Where are you?  Why aren’t you home yet?”  Turned out, he’d decided to wander through Academy on the way home.  “I need you at home NOW!!!”  He must’ve flown ’cause 5 minutes later he’s standing in the doorway, mouth agape.  He figured he must’ve closed the damper after we had a fire last week, but now we can’t open it ’cause there’s already a fire in there. ” The what?  What the hell’s a damper?”

He decides the only way to stop the smoke is to put out the fire, so he throws a bucket of water on it – which produces more smoke so thick, we have to go stand outside for a while.  It’s just at this highlight-of-my-day moment that one of our dear friends decides to stop by to pick up some tupperware she left after a party we had THREE MONTHS AGO.  Her husband and my brother are best friends.  I’m never, never, never, never, never going to live this down.  This story will live on forever.  In my defense, she didn’t know what a damper was, either.

Troy finally gets the bright idea to put out the fire with a fire extinguisher, which mercifully works.  At long last, the smoke starts to clear.  We were able to shovel out all the embers and ash, which helped.  It seemed it was finally all over, except for a deeply embedded woodsmoke smell. 

I grabbed my glass of iced tea and took a deep swig.  Ugh, it was weird tasting.  I peered down into the glass and noticed a fine white film coating the top of the liquid.  What is this?  I lift my hand and see a perfect hand print on the table top.  What the hell? 

Did you know, my friends, that when you use a fire extinguisher, to put out a fire, it’s actually a fine white powder that ERUPTS EVERYWHERE?  Oh yes, our entire living room and kitchen were coated in a thick layer of white.  With a sigh, the dusting, sweeping, mopping and cleaning started anew.  We didn’t get to bed ’til after midnight.

Today I went to lunch with a few friends.  We were sitting at a table in the lunch room when one of them suddenly asked, “You know, it kind of smells like a campfire in here.”  “Really?  Hmmm, I don’t smell it,” I replied, surrpetitiously spraying perfume on my lunch box under the table.  I’m sure they never guessed it was me….right?

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22 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kari
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 17:13:30

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your posts always make me laugh(the ones that should)!! 🙂 I really needed it this afternoon too. I’m sure when these things are happening to you they are anything but funny, but when you recount the adventures of your life you just do it so wonderfully!! Glad the fire was contained in the fireplace and sorry your super sounding bubble bath was rudely interrupted.

    Reply

  2. myndful
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 17:24:02

    Always an adventure with you, isn’t it? 😉

    I can’t imagine how frantic you must have been, and then the clean up. Ugh. Definitely the opposite of relaxing. Now you definitely need that bubble bath!

    Reply

  3. sunflowerchilde
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 18:07:27

    OMG, what a hilarious story. I’m so sorry, but I laughed while reading this. Did Troy at least show you what the damper is and how it works now? Thanks for a funny story! And sorry you had to go through all that.

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Nov 02, 2009 @ 15:35:02

      It turned out, the damper really was open! My mom told me later that the little “lighter” logs – the ones you put under the log to get it going – had gotten wet in the past. I threw a few of those on under the log, and we think it was those that were smoking so bad.

      Reply

  4. Michelle
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 20:09:27

    OMG that is too funny! What a day you had! I have never heard of a damper either so don’t feel bad.

    Reply

  5. meinsideout
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 20:45:30

    Crazy but I am so glad no one got burned!!!

    Reply

  6. lifebytheday
    Oct 28, 2009 @ 08:12:20

    Omigosh, what drama! I’m glad everything is okay now, but I feel your pain. Having to clean your house all over again…UGH! Everytime I got mine clean, DH would do another “step” in the bathroom reno, lol. Hope you can actually have that bubble bath sometime soon! 🙂

    Reply

  7. lifebytheday
    Oct 28, 2009 @ 09:41:23

    P.S. Award nominations waiting for you on my blog 😉

    Reply

  8. Jane
    Oct 29, 2009 @ 06:48:07

    Oh dear, you’re not having a good week, are you? 🙂

    Reply

  9. Sweet Georgia
    Oct 29, 2009 @ 10:06:51

    Well, at least the fire stayed in the fireplace and you won’t make that mistake again! Sorry about the cleaning having to be re-done.

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Nov 02, 2009 @ 15:37:55

      aargh, it was exhausting. It actually took several dusting/mopping over a few days to get all the white powder up. And we’re still shampooing everything we can … that smell just lingers…

      Reply

  10. stacey
    Oct 30, 2009 @ 01:10:51

    The thought of everything being covered in a white film and double-duty house cleaning makes my stomach turn. Glad everything is okay, and I guess the campfire smell will go away eventually! 🙂

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Nov 02, 2009 @ 15:38:32

      I don’t think it’ll ever totally leave!! It’s better, and we’re going to shampoo the furniture next weekend. Hopefully that’ll really help!

      Reply

  11. katery
    Nov 01, 2009 @ 20:00:19

    that is a total bummer about the fire/extinguisher, i hope you got everything cleaned up ok. i nominated you for a couple of awrds on my blog because you’re so awesome!

    Reply

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