It’s a Neon Yellow Kind of Day

As proof that the brain does drop several IQ points on any given Monday, I offer the following chain of emails sent to my BFF Judy this Monday (all on company time, of course).

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 10:45 AM
To:  Judy
Subject: My Life

Mom came into town this weekend to see Cayle’s <my nephew> last baseball game.  Since it’s been raining so hard, she decided to stay the night with us, which was great ’cause I just happened to have volunteered to bring cupcakes to an Austin Pet Alive volunteer meeting tonight.  The cupcakes turned out awesome!  I’d send you one but it’d just get stolen in the inter-office mail (meh). I’m proud to report that with the exception of one small bite (to taste the cupcakes, I never made this recipe before), I’ve been solid on the Baby Making Meal Plan since last Thursday!  I’ve lost 8lbs even.  Yay me!  I rock!

 I stayed up way too late visiting.  So of course I had a hard time getting up and mobile this morning.  I’m working at the main office today, which is always stressful for me, so I decided to wear my blinding neon yellow scrubs and my most awesome neon yellow and lime green tie-dyed tennies to remind me to stay cheerful all day. 🙂

On the way to work I had to drop off one of the foster kitties, Libby, at the vet this morning to be fixed.  It was pouring rain again which <in Austin> of course = endless gridlock.  The kitty decided she was terrified of the car.  She hollered the whole way, and 10 minutes into the drive, she pooped in her kennel.  OMG it smelled so bad, but it was pouring rain!  I couldn’t take it and had to roll the windows down partway, so now my hair is a sticky mess, and the left side of me is really cold and damp.

 While we were at a complete standstill I had the brilliant idea to roll up the towel at the bottom of the kennel so she wouldn’t accidentally step in the poo. So I open the top of the kennel and lift her out while I reached in to roll up the towel.  Of course, she had already stepped into the poo.  Which is now smeared all over my steering wheel and up my arm.  I dropped her back in the kennel (minus the poopy towel) and frantically grab for some wet wipes I keep in the back seat.  I snag ’em, flip ’em open and start pulling them out by the handful – only to discover they are completely dry. 

 OMG, it was the longest morning commute of my life.  I dropped her off at the vet as fast as I could, and washed my arm and took a few damp paper towels to clean up my steering wheel.  I ended up being 30 minutes late to work (but everyone was ’cause of the rain).  As I’m driving from the vet to work I can still smell the poo in the car, even though the windows are down.  I don’t think I’ll get that smell out of my nose all day. 

I fianlly come rushing into the lab all out of breath when my boss said, “Slow down!  Take a deep breath, everything’s ok.  Now, what is that on the front of your scrubs?” 

 Oh yes, you guessed it.  All across my neon yellow belly are perfect little kitty paw prints – in poo. **

From:  Judy 
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 11:00 AM
To: Harlan, Stacey A
Subject: RE: my life

Oh wow. What a morning mama!! I’m sorry. that’s a ‘crappy’ way to start the day. Get it? CRAPpy! J

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 11:09 AM
To:  Judy
Subject: RE: my life

 ha ha

 you SO funny

From: Judy 
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 11:36 AM
To: Harlan, Stacey A
Subject: RE: my life

Ok. so it finally slowed down….. so I’ve been busy w/ryan <Judy’s college-age son> lately and his new adventures. He has been feverishly looking for the ‘perfect’ school to go to. he’s already put several applications to different universities. He asked if he moved, would I go w/him. HECK YA!!!

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 11:40 AM
To: Judy
Subject: RE: my life

 And, Um, what about me????   <because of course all of her major life decisions should revolve around me!!>

From: Judy
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 11:44 AM
To: Harlan, Stacey A
Subject: RE: my life

and um, you have a life! I need a change. I’ve been wanting a change for a while. Depends on where he goes. I can go pretty much anywhere w/US Oncology. We’ll just have to see……….

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 11:45 AM
To: Hall, Judy L
Subject: RE: my life

 well, I don’t want you to be unhappy

but I don’t want you to leave me!

From: Judy 
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 11:53 AM
To: Harlan, Stacey A
Subject: RE: my life

Idk. Maybe I’m getting old and grumpy. Everybody’s got their own lives now. All the kids are grown and moving on. all my friends are grown and got their own stuff going on. I can’t always be tagging everywhere even though everyone let’s me. I don’t even know the whole reason why?? midlife crisis?? Hormones??

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 12:00 PM
To: Judy
Subject: RE: my life

 <I try to give some advice, although for completely selfish reasons, and we both know I have no idea what I’m talking about>

Maybe try changing jobs?  You’re doing all the right things, you’ve taken care of yourself physically and you’re getting out there and socializing.

  And just to say this – I’m never “letting” you “tag along.”  I want spend time with  you.  You my BFF!  My HoMance!

 At least you’re not wearing cat poo on your shirt at work.

From: Judy
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 12:18 PM
To: Harlan, Stacey A
Subject: RE: my life

No, it’s more than that. I can’t expect you to be at my beckon call. Oh wait, I can. I’m JUDY!! J

Going to eat my crappy lunch. oops. Crappy. Crappy shirt. J

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 12:25 PM
To: Judy
Subject: RE: my life

 ha ha

 Me and my poo shirt are going to lunch too!

From:  Judy
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 1:45 PM
To: Harlan, Stacey A
Subject: RE: my life

Bag o tuna, crackers and sugar free pudding. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm I’m stuffed.

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 1:48 PM
To:Judy
Subject: RE: my life

 doesn’t get any better!  except for my most awesome super-duper protein shake!

From: Judy
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 1:48 PM
To: Harlan, Stacey A
Subject: RE: my life

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 1:48 PM
To: Judy
Subject: RE: my life

 oooooooooootttttttttttttt

From: Judy
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 1:50 PM
To: Harlan, Stacey A
Subject: RE: my life

cccccccccchhhhhhhh <for some inexplicable reason we occasionally lapse into random name-calling. usually as it gets to the end of the day and there are less functioning brain cells to work from>

Ooooo did I tell you they want to send me to see and acupuncturist? Is that a word? I guess so. I’ve never tried that before. Have you?

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 1:55 PM
To: Judy
Subject: RE: my life

 I did.  They say it doesn’t hurt, but they lie.  Beware the LIE!!!  The acupuncturist said it only hurt me because my Chi was sluggish.  My Chi may be sluggish, but it was about to get up and beat up her Chi if she di-ent stop hurting me!  (Of course, it couldn’t have been due to the fact that she was sticking needles through my skin.  Surely not that.)

From: Judy
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 2:01 PM
To: Harlan, Stacey A
Subject: RE: my life

u a weenie. J

From: Harlan, Stacey A
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 2:06 PM
To: Judy
Subject: RE: my life

Slore*

<*Slut/Whore contraction made famous by the infamous Kardashian sisters.  I hate that show, but Troy and Judy are addicted.  It’s not my fault.  Bible!>

So, my BFF is plotting to leave me and I had to wear a scrub shirt with cat poo paw prints on it all day! Why did I have to choose “look-at-me-neon-yellow” todayWaaaaa!!!

**I know you’re wondering, so I’ll admit it, I just flat out lied.  I told my boss it was mud from putting the dog back in his kennel this morning.  And then I slathered myself in Honeysuckle lotion and wore a lab coat all day.  I’m certain I fooled them all!…**

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17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Amy
    Oct 26, 2009 @ 18:34:15

    Hi – bouncing back from my blog to answer the question you posed in the comments. I’m significantly overweight myself. My RE said that losing weight might help. The Fertility Diet suggests that losing 5 to 10% of your current weight will help. I’ve read other studies that said that it isn’t so much how much you lose, but the act of losing weigh. My plan is to work towards losing 10% of my weight and then check in with my RE to see what he thinks. If he recommends that I continue losing weight and hold off my next IVF cycle, I will do so.

    Good luck with your plans!

    Reply

  2. Kari
    Oct 26, 2009 @ 18:49:08

    Aw man sorry about the poopy cat prints. 😦 What a bummer. You wear the notice me yellow to cheer ya up and then it ends up being an all day billboard. I agree with the acupuncturist being painful. I didn’t last. I stick myself with enough needles, if my Chi is out of whack I bet there’s millions of knocked up ladies with out of whack Chi who don’t let other people stick them with needles. Sounds like you have a great friend who keeps you entertained during the day, can’t blame ya for not wanting her to leave!!

    Reply

  3. myndful
    Oct 26, 2009 @ 19:02:14

    That’s awesome about the 8lbs. Go baby diet!

    Not so awesome about the traffic, the cat poo, and the BFF potentially moving. You can just pray that her son ultimately picks a school close by. 🙂

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Oct 27, 2009 @ 10:55:50

      I really hope he does! They’re seriously thinking about a school in Washington State, though! Why would any Texas choose to live anywhere that cold?!? Inconceiveable!

      Reply

  4. Low Fat Lady
    Oct 26, 2009 @ 19:32:56

    Congrats on losing 8 pounds, that rocks. I’m sorry about the kitty poo. Glad your crazy day is over. I hope you have a great one tomorrow.

    Reply

  5. Jane
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 06:23:50

    Sorry I’m laughing at the poo prints on your shirt. There’s nothing quite as stinky as cat poo. (My laughing at your cat poo debacle will probably come back to bite me on the ass seeing as I am a kitteh Momma myself!)

    Reply

  6. Sweet Georgia
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 08:41:50

    I can just picture those cute little poopy paw prints. Very funny! Don’t worry if your BFF moves, that’s what skype was made for!

    Reply

  7. Michelle
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 12:02:57

    OMG LOL I could only imagine what I would have done if that had gotten all over me…I probably would have caused an accident because I was flipping out.

    Reply

  8. Lucy
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 14:53:13

    Poor kitty!

    Reply

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