Girls Gone Wild! With Swords!

Whaddaya get when you mix two BFF’s, two lesbians, a whole lotta rum, bags of junk food and 1 room cabin on the beach? Girls gone wild, I’m tellin’ ya! Our weekend at the beach was soooo super wonderful. It drizzled off and on all weekend and it turned blizzard cold (got down in the 60’s, ya’ll!) but I couldn’t have been happier! I’m always so happy at the beach. The sand, the sound of the ocean, the laid-back vibe, the smells, I adore it all. I love Austin, but there’s nothin’ like the beach.

off the balcony

off the balcony

 

me & BFF Judy

me & BFF Judy

 

I’m so glad my girl friend Judy, her cousin Marisol and Mari’s partner Meagan were able to come with us to Port Aransas. Poor Troy was completely outnumbered. I wish his fishing buddy could’ve come, but Troy still managed to get in tons of fishing. Us girls managed to get in a LOT of mai tai’s, calories and hot tubbing! We had a great balcony where we camped out most of the day, just people- and ocean-watching. Played lots of games, and learned a fun new one called Apples to Apples that just cracked us up (could’ve been the mai tai’s). We made s’mores and a bonfire on the beach.  I even smoked a few cigarettes, which I haven’t done in years and made me totally loopy and light-headed (I was always just a social smoker anyways). It felt good to get all the crazy out, to find my center again.
Mari (curly hair) and Meagan (blonde)

Mari (curly hair) and Meagan (blonde)

Our husband :)

"Our" husband 🙂

Before we left for the beach, I got the best package in the mail – ever!  Check out these super-awesome bright and cheerful toe socks from my girl friend Christy at Almost a Mother!  They’re so cool, I just absolutely love ’em!  You can’t help but feel cheery when wearing these babies!  I wanted to take a pic wearing the socks, so I made Troy stick out his feet while he was distracted playing World of Warcraft on the computer.  Then I put on more socks, sat next to him and took the pic.  The flash distracted him and he looked down and yelled, “WTF, why the hell am I wearing gay socks?!?”  You can see his toes aren’t in the toe parts ’cause two of his toes are webbed.  One of those awesome genetic quirks I’m hoping we DON’T have to pass on to our progeny.  I’m so sorry in advance, my spawn. Thank you so, so much, Christy!  They lifted my spirits and just made me smile!  You’re awesome!

Awesome Happy Socks!

Awesome Happy Socks!

 

so bright and cheerful!

so bright and cheerful!

 

Judy’s son, Ryan, did a great job keepin’ up with our menagerie while we were away, plus their pug, Nikki. The little girl foster kitty, Libby, still has her cold, which has turned into a lower respiratory infection. Took her back to the vet on Monday and got some new, stronger antibiotics. She’s not as sick as she was at first, she’s still eating just fine and is getting friskier.  Leif is 100% well and goes in to be fixed tomorrow. After he’s healed we’ll see if he meshes with our zoo. Our girls can be pretty mean, and I want him to be adored and happy, not miserable and picked on.

You might not wanna go in there for, oh, 15 minutes...I couldnt find any matches...

You might not wanna go in there for, oh, 15 minutes...I couldn't find any matches...

Dont hate me because Im beautiful!

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

I worked at a different office today than I usually work at, one that I really enjoy visiting whenever I get assigned there.  There’s a nurse there, Micci, who is around my age and had her first baby a year and a half ago after several IUI’s.  Since he was six months old she’s been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant with her second.  We use the same fertility center but different docs.  Usually Micci is all business, not interested in personal stuff at work, and I respect that.  But today as I passed by her office, she called out my name and asked me how things were going.  I told her about my latest failure, how sure I was we were going to have our BFP – with multiples, no less – how hard it was for me when my cycle came 5 days early, and how dissapointed I was to learn that progesterone supplements would’ve been the missing piece that would’ve brought it all together. 

That’s when Micci said, “Yeah, it’s those little details that we feel inside are the right choice for us, but we’re not sure enough of ourselves to fight for, that we really regret afterwards.”  And she went on to tell me how she fought for progesterone supplements every time, too.  I hadn’t even told her how angry I was at myself for not fighting for the supplements, but she knew.  We talked about where she was in the process.  And it was really good, almost healing in some way.  Having that connection with someone I never expected it from – in real life – it was just what I didn’t even know I needed.

So now that the vacation is over, I feel like I’ve got all the self-destructive crazy purged out of me.  I never wanna see another bowl of popcorn, anything fried or another mai tai for at least a year.  I’m hard-core 100% on a diet.  Although I’m not calling it a diet – this is my Baby Making Meal Plan (BMMP).  I’m doing the MediFast plan, which I’ve done before.  It’s mostly a soy based program, so I got the ingredient listings of all their products, and I’m choosing to eat the ones with little or no soy.  I’m feeling the yearning again, a spark of hope, and I’ve just barely started to daydream about babies and pregnant bellies.  I wanna feel healthy, and I WANT back on the baby-making wagon.  I still haven’t had a period since the big BFN, but I don’t know how long ago that was now.  My cycle are almost 6 weeks long.  I’ll take one more cycle off after this one for weight loss purposes, then it’s IVF, here we come!

So this evening I’m messin’ around in the kitchen, getting dinner ready, when Troy comes busting into the house in a panic gasping – “come quick, Stacey, right now! There’s a SNAKE IN THE GARAGE!” Now I should preface this by saying that my sweet, loving husband suffers from a few phobias. He’s a raging hypochondriac for one, and while he’s got a soft spot for anything warm and fuzzy, all things even vaguely reptilian are NOT his friends. Of course my nephews adore frogs and geckos, and just can’t wait to share their latest catches with Uncle Troy, much to my husband’s horror and mine and my mom’s amusement. So a snake in the garage – that just about as bad as it gets for my lovah.

So we head out to the garage, spot the snake, manage to irritate it in an unsuccessful attempt to blow it out of the garage with a leaf blower (we can’t find a broom), lose it again, and finally find it sneaking out the back of the extra fridge, about half way up the wall (yes, we have an extra fridge in the garage. I embrace my trailer chic roots, thank you very much.) “Quick, hand me something long!” I yell to Troy, who is cowering behind me. I have visions of sticking a broom handle back there, having the snake coil around it, then flinging the snake down the driveway so both the snake and we can breathe a sigh of relief and be done with each other. “Ok! Here!” he yells, thrusting a sword at me. Oh yes, you read it right, a sword. A huge-ass, heavy as hell broadsword. Why do we have a broadsword? Because the geeks in us just couldn’t stay away from the renaissance festival last year, and whaddaya know, they had a huge sale on medieval weapons the last day.  At least he didn’t hand me the studded mace.

So I try to gently ease the sword down the tiny space between the wall and the fridge while my husband dances back and forth behind me. I’m trying to ease the sword through a wide loop of the snake when *crunch* OMG I JUST STABBED THE SNAKE! Gaa!! It crunched! and then began twirling around the sword, which was stuck in the wall. I felt so bad! I just meant to throw it out of the garage! If I’d actually been aiming for the thing, I’d never have hit it!  Of course now I’m terrified of letting go, cause if it wasn’t pissed off enough by the leaf blower, now it really was going to have my number. I yelled to Troy, “Get something else long! Get something else!” so he hands me A PITCHFORK!! Gaa! Are you kidding me? Why do we even have a pitchfork?  Do we not own a frickin’ broom? So Troy, finally finding his balls, grabs the handle of the sword and the pitchfork and yells, “Get my iPhone!  We have to take a pic to find out if it’s poisonous!”  So I’m frantically searching for the phone when a giant dust bunny rolls out from under the fridge and over Troy’s toe.  Troy lets out the girliest scream I’ve ever heard come out of – well, out anyone I’ve every known – drops the sword and the pitchfork, and runs for the laundry room.  The snake completely vanishes, apparently along with Troy’s manhood.

Two hours later we’ve gingerly moved everything in the garage, and after a lot of trembling, jumping and sweating, we’ve even moved the fridge and checked under and behind it, but the snake is gone.  So now we get to live in fear that it’s out there, waiting for us.  Personally, I plan to never go out there again.  It’s going to be up to Troy to get the Christmas tree.  Maybe we’ll just keep out the pumpkins for Christmas.  Pumpkins are festive, right?

After that we were tired, jumpy, sweaty and dirty, and we’d both lost our appetites.  Me, cause I felt bad about stabbing the snake, and Troy, ’cause apparently prolonged terror is a great appetite suppressant.  So we tried to relax and catch the latest episode of The Mentalist, which helped.  We described the snake to my mom and brother, and they both think it was a garden snake, and that it probably got out of the garage and will die somewhere.  Ugh, I hope it doesn’t die somewhere deep in the inner workings of my fridge.  Mom made me promise that next time I’d wait ’til it was dead before trying to take a pic of it.  Personally, I’m hoping I don’t come across any more snakes in my lifetime.

And, just to punish me for laughing at Troy and his killer dust bunny, while I was talking to my brother on the phone my kitty Poppy snuck up behind me and tickled the back of my arm with her whiskers, prompting my own girly scream.  Which my brother proceeded to mock for the rest of the phone call.  That was some damn fast-acting karma.

Advertisements

25 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kate
    Oct 15, 2009 @ 13:00:45

    Ha! Awesome snake story!

    I’m so glad your beach vacay was just what the doctor ordered. Nothin’ like the sand, sun and some girly drinks to put everything in perspective.

    Reply

  2. Kari
    Oct 15, 2009 @ 13:13:19

    OMG I almost fell off my chair!! I was laughing SOOOOO hard!! Thank you for sharing that story with us!! The sword and the pitchfork were classic. I hope the snake mananged to escape your garage.

    Reply

  3. Low Fat Lady
    Oct 15, 2009 @ 13:55:34

    Ugh, I hate snakes. I would have freaked out. It sounds like you handled it pretty well even though you did stab it lol. I’m so glad you had a good time with your friends. Sounds like a great time.

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Oct 15, 2009 @ 14:38:09

      omg, we were totally freaked!
      the girlfriend time was wonderful. I’m so lucky Troy is so patient – not too many men can handle four wives! 🙂

      Reply

  4. Michelle
    Oct 15, 2009 @ 16:11:45

    This cracked me up because I can see this scenario going down in my house.

    Sounds like you had a great time with your friends.

    Reply

  5. D
    Oct 15, 2009 @ 16:44:35

    That was the best snake story I have ever heard. I felt like I was sitting in your kitchen drinking a maitai while you told me….LOL. glad that you had a great time at the beach! and good luck on the BMMP!

    Reply

  6. myndful
    Oct 15, 2009 @ 20:17:43

    Glad to hear you got some you time at the beach. What a great way to recoup and relax.

    And that snake story is awesome…why is it that women love it so much when we see a man afraid of something like a garden snake? Makes me giggle everytime I think of it. 🙂

    Reply

  7. stacey
    Oct 16, 2009 @ 00:28:29

    All this snake talk is freaking me out!! Yesterday there was a snake in my sister’s house. EEEK!

    P.S. I LOVE The Mentalist. (Okay, I LIKE The Mentalist. I LOVE Simon Baker.) 🙂

    Reply

  8. lifebytheday
    Oct 16, 2009 @ 09:03:05

    Haha, I love it! Glad you guys survived the snake attack 😉

    Reply

  9. Womb For Improvement
    Oct 17, 2009 @ 08:56:25

    So I started the post thinking how brave Troy was for being the only guy with what sounds like an uncontrollable group of girls, and then you tell the snake story. (Although I am with your husband – I am petrified of snakes, I can’t even watch them on TV).

    Reply

  10. Katie
    Oct 17, 2009 @ 15:36:34

    You have the best stories!

    There’s an award for you on my blog. 🙂

    Reply

  11. mkwewer
    Oct 19, 2009 @ 09:23:23

    I about wet myself reading this…we have a black snake that lives in our water heater shed. I don’t like snakes so I won’t go near the shed but my husband attempts to be fearless about the snake (“it’s a black snake, they don’t bite” – whatever, dude). So the other day he’s putting away our lawn chairs for the season and bumps a hanging basket that I had him put away earlier. Out falls Mr. Snake on top of Hubby’s FOOT. He shrieks like a horror movie actress and bolts up the deck stairs…so much for fearless, huh?

    Reply

  12. katery
    Oct 19, 2009 @ 18:38:29

    i feel really bad that i never sent you the gonal f, i don’t know what my problem is. let me know if it’s included in your ivf plan and i will send it, i SWEAR TO GOD!!!!

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Oct 19, 2009 @ 21:51:29

      lol You’ve had a lot to think about lately! But if you think about it, send it on my way! 🙂 Gonal F will definitely be on the IVF menu, I’ve been told!

      Reply

  13. Amy
    Oct 25, 2009 @ 07:45:50

    OMG – hysterical telling of the snake incident!

    Glad you had a good time in Austin. Looks wonderful and I’m so jealous as I REALLY need a vacation.

    Reply

    • iamstacey
      Oct 26, 2009 @ 17:00:09

      I think everyone who is TTC should get an automatic vacation every couple of months – just to retain our sanity! 🙂 But of course, if you’re TTC, you’re broke! *sigh*

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: