The 2WW: Day 12 or Toilet Paper, You’re My Obsession

I have a new obssession:  toilet paper.  More specifically, the wad of toilet paper in my hand after I wipe.  Charming, I know, but honestly there’s not much of anything about babymaking that is truly charming.  Pregnant women:  charming.  Babies:  charming.  Baby-making:  not so much. 

The wait for either AF or my BFP to put in an appearance has driven me to strange new pasttimes.  Every trip to the little girl’s room is like getting another news bulletin from down below:  all clear;  bright smiley-face yellow from the B12 vitamin I took this morning;  No, there’s no red or brown yet, quit checking, it’s getting weird, lady!  Who knew there were so many shades between “straw” and “red”?

As this, my 32nd cycle day begins, I ponder all that has occurred this past month.  The moon has orbited the earth.  My hair has grown about 1/2 an inch.  But AF – or my big BFP – still MIA.  So this is  l i m b o.  I feel that, much like Neo in The Matrix, I’ve somehow mastered the art of  s l o w i n g  t i m e.  But instead of performing a gravity-defying back bend while watching bullets whiz by mere inches away, I’m once again sitting on the porcelain throne (sorry about the mental picture), scrutinizing the wad of tissue in front of my nose like a telegram from a loved one far away.  Still no answer.  *sigh*

I’m taking drastic action:  I’m wearing white panties from this day forth.  If that doesn’t get things flowing (pardon the pun), then AF’s not coming for sure!


25 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kate
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 12:34:25

    LMAO!!!! @ the white panties. I actually wore those the day I took the test with the same mentality, lol.

    So you’re testing tomorrow right? I’m sooooo hoping these are all good signs.

    Stay away AF!

    How long are your cycles normally?


    • iamstacey
      Jul 10, 2009 @ 12:51:54

      I’m wearin’ my tighty whiteys right now! 🙂 I’ll do the pee test Sunday and the blood test next week. My cycles are usually around 40 days, so I probably still have a bit of a wait! Bah.


  2. Pie
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 12:46:46

    White pants, panties, skirts, they all work. So when have you decided to POAS? Have you set a date?


  3. Molly
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 12:54:59

    Waiting stinks. You have to wait for appointments, you get these–maybe–two glorious days each month to try, you take tests and scrutinize in places you never thought you’d worry about before. (And meanwhile, your best friend and your sister-in-law get pregnant the moment they consider trying…)

    Fingers. Crossed.


  4. Jessica
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 13:13:36

    I find myself checking the TP throughtout my entire cycle, which means I am ALWAYS examining the TP. First its to check and see when AF is gone, then for CM, then for CM to dry up, then for AF….and so on and so on!! Only women that have gone through IF can relate. I hope AF doesn’t show and you get your BFP!!


  5. Michelle
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 15:28:10

    I know that feeling. it gets very obsessive compulsive. I find myself going to the bathroom a lot!


    • iamstacey
      Jul 11, 2009 @ 01:34:59

      me too! And today, the bathroom next to my office was Out Of Order, so I had to keep running across the office to pee. I tried to be invisible, but they had to notice I pee every 30 freakin’ minutes!


  6. Kate
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 15:33:45

    Ahh, I have stumbled on the motherload of babymaking blogs! Your blogroll will keep me occupied for at least the next week 🙂 My blog is

    I am TTC too — went off birth control in February and haven’t ovulated since. Called an infertility specialist today. Even the thought of it scares me.

    My fingers are crossed for you!


    • iamstacey
      Jul 11, 2009 @ 01:30:19

      I’m so glad you’re set up to see an RE! I felt like we were finally making progress when we met with ours. I hope you really like yours!

      I started this blog just for keepin’ memories – I had no idea there was a whole community of amazing women (and a few fellas) who are so brave and are willing to share advice, experiences and encouragement. I can’t wait to catch up on yours!

      Edit to add: OMG, the Pregnant Women are Smug video was a riot! 🙂


  7. Katie
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 20:15:34

    You are almost there. Are you going to POAS???

    (hoping for white tp for a long time!)


  8. Lucy
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 20:31:46

    Hi Stacy–by Tx, I meant Treatment, actually, not Texas:) Hello from the East Coast!


    • iamstacey
      Jul 11, 2009 @ 01:22:09

      You’da thunk workin’ in the medical field I’d have known that! Now your post makes sense! 🙂 I do still think you should find a good doc on the East Coast there that at least remembers your name! Bless your heart, with all we’re goin’ thru already you deserve a doc that’s really there for you.


  9. meinsideout
    Jul 11, 2009 @ 21:15:41

    Keeping my fingers crossed for you and I hope to see good news tomorrow!


  10. Barefoot
    Jul 11, 2009 @ 21:19:54

    Oh, sweetie, I am still rubbing myself raw with the toilet paper. It IS amazing how many shades there are between straw and red.

    Sending all kinds of good vibes your way, and hoping that your white panties stay white!!!


  11. Ashley
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 09:53:57

    Good luck today!!


  12. Kate
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 10:30:53

    It’s Sunday!!!


  13. Jessica
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 10:35:06

    I gave you an award…check out my blog.


  14. myndful
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 21:47:23

    LMAO! That was so me last cycle! Here’s hoping you continue to see nothing of interest on those wads of toilet paper. Hope POAS’ing today had a great outcome!


  15. Kate
    Jul 13, 2009 @ 10:37:45

    Ack! Stacey! An update por favor!


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