Monday, 5-18-09

It’s now 15 days since the 1st day of my last period, and no smiley face on the OV kit yet.  Just to be safe, we keep going at it, at least every other night.  We’re aiming for every night, but it just doesn’t always seem to happen the way we plan.

I found a website, mymonthlycycles.com.  I’ve plugged all my info in since last October.  My average cycle is really long, about 44 days.  So according to them, I should actually ovulate the first week of June instead of the usual 10 days after my period.  So I’m not giving up hope that this round will be the one!  And we’re going for sex every night until my next period, just to be sure we do catch it if I do finally lay an egg later in the cycle.

I thought the Clomid and Femara might not be working, as I didn’t have many symptoms this time around.  Well, the symptoms have arrived.  I’ve almost completely cut out caffeine (just Crystal Light in the mornings), but I’ve started waking up several times during the night with wild dreams (last night it was zombies.  really?  zombies?  random) and crazy hot flashes.  I get so hot I actually turn red, and strip off all layers I possibly can (depending on where I am).  Five minutes later, I’m freezing.

Lots of achiness in the ovarian area.  Mild nausea in the mornings and off and on during the day.

While annoying, all of these are manageable.  Mom has been staying with us off and on, and having Mom around makes me watch my tongue, makes me more conscious of how I talk to Troy, which is a good thing.  The Clomid can make me really irritable and snarky with Troy, and I appreciate that her prescence makes me more aware of how I talk to him.  I’ve been much more patient with him and I’ve found that if I just wait a few minutes, the irritation usually goes away. 

Troy and I have always struggled with money.  We both have good jobs that pay well, but we don’t manage what we have well.  To that end, we’ve decided to spend only on bills/debt for the next two months.  All grocery/supplies shopping will be done together, and we’ll agree on how to spend extra in advance.  It’s a much higher level of accountability to each other than we’ve ever had.  It means being completely honest with each other – no buy now, ask forgiveness later.  It’s hard for me to give up control, but I know I need to let Troy be the leader of the family, and to trust him to have our best interests at heart.

I’ve also been praying that God will help me not only be a better steward of our finances, but also of my body.  I’m sure that we wouldn’t be having as hard a time getting pregnant if I wasn’t so overweight.  I’ve finally accepted that diets aren’t going to work.  I’ve got to decide to eat less and eat healthier, each and every time.  And move more.

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