Tuesday, 4/21/09

The waiting game begins.  Am I or aren’t I?  If I am pregnant, how long will it be before I feel the symptoms?  How long before the test is positive?  Will it be just one or multiples?  A boy or a girl?  Will I miscarry?

And, if I’m not pregnant, why not?  How many tries will it take?  Will we ever be successful?  How far are we willing to go to have a baby?

The day I was going to start the pills that would make my body have a period, I started all on my own, wouldn’tyaknowit.  I started March 30th, then started the Clomid, 50mg, on Friday April 3rd.  I started the OV kit on the 13th, although according to the pamphlet I wouldn’t ovulate until the 17th, 18th or 19th – and, wouldn’tyaknow it, I was right on schedule.  First time ever!

The OV kit didn’t get really dark positive.  It got as dark as the test line, but no darker.  I wonder if I really did ovulate?  We did the deed on the 17th and the 19th, but missed the 18th due to an all-day fishing trip.  Troy and his guys planned it and paid for it in advance, and I didn’t want him to miss it.  I hope missing the day in the middle won’t cost us our chance this round!  The 20th I took a progesterone test, which is 22 days from the 1st day of the last period.  Haven’t heard back about it yet.

Wisdom from those who have gone before me and blogged about it says that it takes 7 to 10 days for implantation, and as much time more to feel the symptoms and to test positive.  But I’ve felt a tugging sensation down there, sorta like period cramps but not painful.  I also feel really bloated. 

I’ve had a lot of insomnia and some moodiness with the Clomid.  Why is it that the pill that’s supposed to get you pregnant also repels your husband?  Lots of hot flashes, too.  They actually wake me up, they’re so intense!  I’m a pale one and I flush easily.  My co-workers keep asking me if I’m having an allergic reaction to something.

Work has gotten worrisome – there have been lay-offs.  In one of our offices, all of the full-time staff will be cut to 32 hrs/week.  It doesn’t affect my hours – I’m aready at 32 hrs – but it’s scary to see it hit close to home.  I can feel the panic and stress on my co-workers, and I really feel for them, especially the single moms.

I can’t help but scroll through Craigslist, looking at crib bedding and maternity clothes.  I’m too scared to actually buy anything, though.  If I do, I might be jinxed!


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